It is National Day today. My network is too bad to watch an online live broadcasting these days and I do not have a satellite TV either. Consequently, I was not able to watch the military review of the 60th anniversary for the founding of my home country. 

Kinda wanna write some lines down here, somehow, my thoughts have been forced to be stopped. I am so under pressure these days. I have chosen the way and I thought he will there supporting me, however I found that he is always absent there because of his damn working or maybe not only because his work... I really want to shout to him that "You'd better marry with your job if your job loves you too" ...  I cannot balance my work and love, neither can him. Both of us got Master degrees, it has told us high degrees means nothing sometimes. Life is not that easy to survive in a strange city,it is truely harsh. 

It is so damn freezing in Mel at night, I lying in the bed,covered by a feather quilt, listening to the Yiruma's piano music, my emotion has started moving and tears come out... I rarely cry when I abroad, just few times, I thought I can be strong enough, and it turns out I am not able to again. Of course, I cannot let mom and dad to get into the worries, I am a grow up, should be able to handle my life.

Some say that all women cry for no reason, while some others say that the gosh gave women a tear to shed and can be used whenever needed. I wonder which is my true reason,whatever, yes, I used it tonight.

I do not know why I wrote the above, discharging maybe...

I have to sort out everything by myself... May gosh with me, and may good luck accompany with me, and who else?

Depression is seriously killing me... 

I am just afraid, so damn afraid that I fail to hang on here, 

I wonder...

I stayed in Library for a whole afternoon, and I was feel very comfortable in lib although there were too many people.

Unfortunately, lib closed at 6:30pm as today is Friday, and people work there suppose going home earlier.(It is rediculous in my opinion)

I went home, try to study in my room,however, Michelle was watching TV with her bf and talk too loudly, i do not want to disrupt her movie night with bf, so I can only quit the place. There are always some kind of unofficial rules in domitory,right.We have to accept them with silence.

I went to first lab after dinner, however there were several korean students came in with packages of potato chips after 30min... I left after 10min, I cannot bear them and changed to sencond lab, it was quite good, but sometime good things are always cannot wait too long, after about estimately 1hour, one aussie came with his friend, both of them got a nice voice quality, but too anoying in a study lab.. alright, then I have to change my position to focus on my important studies.

Finally, I got a nice place in which some real studying person there. Especiall after 10:30pm, many students has left as it is Friday, yep, it is Friday, and I have to keep my studies here for tomorrow's exam.

Alright, keep working on with my studies. and then need go to bed early.